So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
