You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
