You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
