dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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