Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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