how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
