...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
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There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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