You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
