watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
