Nicole vs. Life
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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