it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
