you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
