Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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