But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why did my mother make you get naked?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
