I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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