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• (440): View more from Ohio

  tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma

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• (727): View more from Florida

  the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (806): View more from Texas

  First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.

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• (642): View more from

  Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook

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