I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
