tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook