p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
