He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
