We're facebook friends in real life
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
