A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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