thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
