So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
