i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
