He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
