just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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