At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
