Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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