I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
