OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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