He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize