I murdered the dance floor call the cops
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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