therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so let's talk penis.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
