Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
