Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
