Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i love accidental penises.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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