We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
