i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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