just tell him i said nine months
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize