Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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