Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
