its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
