When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
