Me. At least after what I've been through.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
