Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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