Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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