Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
