she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
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Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?