Having a random hookup so left but love u
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.