I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize