dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
