So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
