I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
