I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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