Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
